I'm ready to change

I was reading Change or Die: The Three Keys to Change at Work and in Life last week and Alan Deutschman, the author, was talking about how hard it is to change. I realized that I will not change because of fear for my health or for my future. Many people every day are told that they will die if they don't diet and exercise or if they don't quit smoking or drinking, but they "can't" change. Change has to come from deep within.

I'm on the path of change right now. I can finally visualize myself as a fit person. I am willing to make some of the sacrifices I would not do before. For example, I decided today that I will start trying non-creamy salad dressings so that I can enjoy a healthy salad. I believe that I can learn to change my preferences. I'm working on going from a fat mindset to a fit mindset. It's on!

Making some changes in my eating

Last week at work I brought my breakfast and lunch everyday. Today I didn't but I ate a small serving of grits and one scrambled egg for breakfast. The change I made was that I didn't get butter added to my grits. That's a big step for me.

Be more active

Over the weekend, I have made a committment to be more active. On Friday evening I mopped my kitchen floor on my hands and knees. I have heard that that was the best way to mop a floor, but have never tried. I must say the kitchen floor looks great and I also cleaned the baseboards when I was down there. This was a new experience for me that I plan on doing again this week. I also mowed my lawn. That's another thing I do not generally do. Since I am on the way to being a fit person. I am acting like a fit person and becoming an active person.

On Monday morning when I was waiting for a store to open, instead of sitting in my car and listening to the radio, I took a walk. I will be the fittest. I will be lead an active lifestyle.

Attitude change

I was listening to an audio book of "You On A Diet" and there was a good statement comparing driving a car with GPS to dieting. The author stated that when you make a wrong turn on a vehicle with a navigational system, the device doesn't belittle you or reprimand you. All it does is tell you to make the next available authorized U-turn. I like that statement, because most of this week, I've gone the wrong way, but last night I decided to make a U-turn and get back on track. I was about to get in the "forget it all" mindset, but I remembered my goal. I will be fit. I am in it to win it.

Walking it off

I know that exercise is a key element to my weight loss and my sanity. Sometimes the holidays really make me want to eat so I decided to incorporate more exercise this Easter weekend.

My exercise through the holiday weekend:
Thursday - Water aerobics (1 hour)
Friday- Walked 3 miles around the lake
Saturday- Walked 2 miles at the park
Sunday- Walked 3 miles around the lake
Monday- Walked 3 miles around the lake

Does it take all this?

I've been eating less food for the last few days. My brain is telling me that "it doesn't take all this, that I am being extreme, but I'm in for the long haul." I will not be the fattest. I go to WeightWatchers on Saturday and I will weigh again. I will see if I will be successful this week. No matter what the numbers on the scale read, I will continue on this path until I reach success. My first goal is to lose 30 pounds.

I've got to get the exercise thing right too. I will do my walking along with water aerobics and weight training. I'll make this work

My friend is getting lap band surgery

I'm a fat woman, but I will not be the fattest. On the outside I am very laid back, but internally it is a different story. I have a friend that is much bigger than me and shorter. I would guess she weighs around 325 pounds. I am taller by about 5 inches and today weigh 280 pounds. I have been a lazy WeightWatcher member for about 9 months and have gained and lost about 15 pounds on the program. Right now I am relosing the 15 pounds that I gained over the holidays last year. I have been pretty content with myself. Most days my weight has not bothered me. I have a good self-image and moderately high self-esteem. I feel well and think I dress pretty good for a big girl.

Here is my dilemma. My buddy, mentioned above is about to get lap band surgery. Now my competitive streak has kicked in. I can't be the fattest. I am more determined than ever to lose weight and do it in the normal healthy way. Cut back and exercise. I am determined to take my WeightWatchers seriously and exercise like I should, because I will not be the fattest. No way... No how.

I have always liked a challenge. Internally I am very competitive. When my friend told me she was scheduled for surgery, I decided that I would not be the biggest between the two of us. I am determined to give my all to dieting. With the exception of about one year on the Atkins diet, when I lost about 50 pounds, I have never given my all to a diet. I would diet for a while, then slack off. I have been the same with exercise. I exercise for a few months then quit. I have an exercise bike in my spare bedroom that I have not been using and have joined health clubs that I would participate in for a while then quit. This time I am serious. NO BS.

Since my friend was getting lap band surgery, I decided to give myself a virtual gastric bypass. I did not really get the surgery. What I mean is I treat myself just as if I had the surgery. I am eating smaller portions and when I am tempted to overeat, I remind myself that if I eat too much I will get sick because that's what happens with the surgery. This may sound silly to you, but to me so far it is working. I have cut down my portions significantly. It is early just day three, but I will keep you informed.

Doing whatever it takes to love myself.